Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Movie on Chess
After making "Chak-de", Shimit Amin wants to make another sport-based movie and he decides to make movie on "Chess" and guess the title is "Check-De!"
कैप्सूल
Friday, September 25, 2009
Surprise
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Sun Bath
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
शेर-ओ-शायरी!
मरने के बाद हुई cheating मेरे साथ, बनायीं माज़ार मेरी पर मीनार खा गए!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Zebra
Saturday, June 20, 2009
IPL vs. Exam
Cricket has reached exciting levels with IPL....
Infusing the same thing into exams, some suggestions: -
1. Reduce exam duration to 1 hr and marks to 50.
2. Introduce strategic break after 30 minutes.
3. Give free hit, that is a chance for students to frame their own questions and write answers.
4. 1st 15 minutes power play, that is no invigilator in the exam hall. ( everyone will love this....!!!)
5. Introduce fair play awards.
6. If any wrong question is asked you can give your own answer for the next question
FREE HIT……………….. !!!!!!!!!
7.Cheer girls to cheer for every correct answer written....! !!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
नाम
एक आदमी का नाम तो था प्राणनाथ , संयोग से वो ऐसे ऑफिस में चपरासी लग गया जहाँ बहुत महिलायें काम करती थीं । अब महिलाओं को समस्या हो गई, तीन दिन तो किसी ने उससे बात ही नहीं की, करे भी कैसे ,नाम ही है प्राण नाथ ....प्राण कह नहीं सकती, नाथ कह नहीं सकती और प्राण नाथ तो कह ही नहीं सकती.... वो सब गईं मैनेजर के पास । मैनेजर बोला -मैं सब ठीक करता हूँ ... ऐ प्राण नाथ ! कैसा नाम रखते हो ..कोई ले भी नहीं सकता ...सरनेम क्या है ?
वो बोला - स्वामी.........हा हा हा हा हा हा हा हा हा
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
वाह-वाह!
चलाने के लिए ज़रूरत तेल की होगी
और चान्द पर बस्ती पहले रूस बसाये या अमेरिका
पर पहली मॉटेल वहां किसी पटेल की होगी।
2. सर में भेजा नहीं है फिर भी सोच रहे हैं
खुजली ख़ुद को है, पब्लिक को नोच रहे हैं
अब क्या बतलाऊं हाल मैं इन नेताओं का
मैल जमी है चेहरे पर और दर्पण पोंछ रहे हैं
Monday, May 25, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
मुन्ना सर्किट जिंदाबाद!
[From a forwarded mail]
Munna bhai: Agar bina danto ka kutta kate to kya karna chahiye?
Circuit: Simple bhai... Bina sui ka injection lagane ka!
________________________________
CIRCUIT : Bhai, Bapu NE bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai. Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.
MUNNA BHAI : Aye Circuit, who Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai.
CIRCUIT : Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko.
MUNNA BHAI : Par Circuit, abhi to TU bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.
CIRCUIT : Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.
________________________________
MAMU : Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL : Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada?
_______________________________
CIRCUIT : Bhai, who apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla aaj raat ko dinner pe. Mera Sara chain collection apnay kamray mein chupa do na please.
MUNNABHAI : Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?
CIRCUIT : Nehin Bhai, who apnay chain pechan lega.
________________________________
MAMU : Bhai, apnay ko char mahinay mein Tamil sikhna padega. Kuch upay batao.
MUNNA BHAI : Tamil kyun, aur char mahinay ka kya chakkar hai?
MAMU : Meinay ek Tamil baccha adopt kiya hai, aur who char mahinay mein bolne lagay Ga.
_______________________________
PROFESSOR : Akal badi ki bhais?
MUNNA BHAI : Bole toh pehlay date of birth Bata mamu.
______________________________
MUNNA BHAI : Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT : Bhai, gaadi hai.
MUNNA BHAI : Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT : Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.
______________________________
Circuit takes a flight to Singapore and he is seated next to an Englishman. Circuit open his tiffin and serves himself a roti.
ENGLISHMAN : What is this?
CIRCUIT : Bread India
Circuit then open the box of jalebi.
ENGLISHMAN : What is this?
CIRCUIT : Sweet India
With all the food he hogged on, Munna farts. The Englishman is offended and in shock asks …
ENGLISHMAN : What is that?
CIRCUIT : Air India
________________________________
CIRCUIT : Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
MAMU : Nehin.
CIRCUIT : To kha ke dekh Le, pata chal jayega.
____________________________
MUNNA BHAI : Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha.
MAMU : Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya?
MUNNA BHAI : Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai.
____________________________
MUNNA BHAI : Mamu, TU kitna pada hai?
MAMU : B.A.
MUNNA BHAI : Sala, two akshar pada aur who bhi ulta?
________________________________
MAMU : Oye, maar gayay yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath AA rehla hai.
MAMU KA DOST : Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.
________________________________
CIRCUIT : Oye Short Circuit yeh light bulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai?
SHORT CIRCUIT : Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehle hai.
________________________________
PRINCIPAL : Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI : Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu
PROFESSOR : Gandhi Jayanti ke baray mein kya jantey ho?
MUNNA BHAI : Gandhi bahut jabardast aadmi tha, Baap. Maa Kasam, par apun ko yeh nehin malum ke yeh Jayanti kaun hai.
________________________________
Thursday, April 2, 2009
बनिया...
साभार: चित्राक्ष बत्रा
Baniya: Yeh desi ghee kaisay diya?
Shopkeeper (another baniya): 200 Rs.
Baniya: 2 Rs ka deta hai?
S.K: desi ghee ka dabba pakda kar "2 minute tak smell kar le aur vapas rakh de" .
Baniya: Yeh kela (banana) kaisay diya?
Shopkeeper: 1Rs.
Baniya: 60 Paisa ka deta hai?
S.K: 60 paise mein to sirf chilka milega.
Baniya:Ley 40 paisay, chilka rakh aur kela day de
Baniya on his death bed
My wife, where r u ?
Wife:Yes, I’m here
My sons daughters ru all here?
Yes, Papa
Baniya:To phir brabar wale kamre
ka pankha Q khula hay ??? :D:D:D
Baniya 14th floor se neche gira
Girte waqt usne
apni ghar ki khirki me
apni wife ko roti pakate hue dekha
to chilla k bola
MERI ROTI NAHI PAKANA!
Baniya ne sheikh ko khoon dey k uski jaan bachai.
Sheikh ne usay MERCEDEZ gift kardi.
Sheikh ko phir khoon ki zarorut pari,
Baniya ne phir khoon dia.
Ab k bar Sheikh ne till waly laddu gift kiye,
Baniya:Ghusse se, mercedez kion nahi di?
Sheikh:Munna…!! Ab hamarey ander bhi baniye ka khoon dor raha hay:)
Baniya called a newspaper office and asked: Mera Chacha Mar gaya hai, kya charges hongay?
NewsPaper: Rs.50 per word.
Baniya: Oh bohat ziyada hain, Acha likho "Chacha Guzar Gaye".
Newspaper: Sir! It should be minimum 6 words!
Baniya: Oh ho! Jara sochnay do..... Acha likho....... ......... .
Chacha Guzar Gaye - Maruti for Sale .
Baniya asks Taxi Driver: CP wale gurudware jayega kya?
Taxi Driver: Han jaon ga.
Baniya ne jaib se lunchbox nikala or kaha:
Wapsi main langar ka khana lete aana.
Baniya ko bhoot charh gaya ,
3 din baad bhoot khud ek ojha k paas gaya aur bola,
Ojha sahab mujhe bahar Nikalo..! Warna me to bhookha hi mar jaon ga
Titanic K Sath Baniya Bhi Doob Raha Tha
Aur Hans Bhi Raha Tha
Dost: Oye Hans Kyun Raha Hai?
Baniya: Shukar Hai Main Ne Return Ticket Nahi Khareeda
अभिषेक:
वैसे इसके बाद एक प्रश्न आया है दिमाग में कि लोग फिर ऐसा क्यों बोलते हैं कि:
देशभक्त बनिए, ईमानदार बनिए, सच्चे बनिए, अच्छे बनिए! [;-)]